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: m - horror and how i will end it.

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Current Location: bed
Aktuelle Stimmung: gratefulgrateful
Aktuelle Musik: Silence

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: m

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Current Location: The bowels of cupid
Aktuelle Stimmung: hopefulhopeful
Aktuelle Musik: Like the feasting of Carrionne birds

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: m - Loss

This is a subject that i feel very close to.
On November sixth my girlfriend Teana gave me a beautiful little girl. She was born seven pounds three point four ounces. She had the brightest ginger hair and a tooth. It wasn't a messy birth, or a hard one. My little girl, Luna Marie Wolanin, came crying into this world only until she heard her daddy say her name, then she was calm. Her mother breastfed her just after that providing, as far as I can tell, Luna's first comforts as a new arrival to this place. As soon as i saw that little girls face for the first time she took my whole heart. And through those seven weeks she grew and i taught her things as did i grow and learn from her. And with every moment passed we became more in love with each other. I watched her grow and grab things, and hold her head up. I stared into her eyes as she stared into mine reflecting only joy and love and comfort. But mostly love. I held her hands as she so tightly grabbed mine and stood straight up on her own. Luna cried when she could not be bounced or held by her mother or i and it was the softest sweetest cry that i had ever heard. And i held her until she would sleep most every chance i had. And i lost my little girl, my Luna Marie, the Star in my sky's, the heart that i gave away because it was hers. And so on January  first i woke up in the bed next to the light of my life cold and lifeless. The terror of us trying to save her and the memory of that little face red and blue will haunt my everything forever. We tried to save her to no avail. My Daughter Luna Marie Wolanin had died in her sleep in bed with her parents. On January fifth we held a funeral service for my little Luna. It was beautiful. We had her resting in a dark wicker basket surrounded with flowers of blue and purple and white. The basket was on a table in front of everyone  and above that stone cold plastic remnant of all of my heart and love and joy was a screen Showing hundreds of photo's of her. All of her firsts and most of her best moments. Teana had taken so many photo's during her life that i had not seen most of them. I held my little girls hand. Which was cold, as usual. And i took so much comfort in being with her. I had missed her so much. I hadn't been without for more than an hour before and then she was gone for days. I miss her SO MUCH! I'll bet she misses her mother and I. I was a father for only Seven Weeks butt it was my best time in 25 years. Period.

I will forever mourn, you, and i will forever keep you in my thoughts and my heart. You could never EVER be replaced.
With everything i could ever give, I Love You Luna Marie Wolanin.

Aktuelle Stimmung: All
Aktuelle Musik: silence defening

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: m - eye ov miscreation

On this night oh beautiful one
The winds lay cold hands on me
A vessel no more to be filled
A shell to shed with glee

While Green eyes befell me
Through suffocating trees
igniting my senses still
"Oh" to the gods i plead

"Find Any Exit that you can"


"Let It not Stop until it bleeds!!!"

Escape of flesh finds many its exits
At Wrest Within Forever's arms
Head suffocating in my hands.

"This world Will Never be as planned
So hold your sullen head up high,
Going over the stars tonight"

A gust of terror billows now
Against the bones of wasted years

"The Sands Of time, Dust in the wind
Nothing can be immortal here."
A trembling hand now governs fate
Until the final note I hear
Is the bedding of my dreams tonight
The chorus of one bullet
Screaming in fear!

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MY horde is disbanded, my warriors dead, This ride has been for naught.

Aktuelle Stimmung: anxioushyrakeri
Aktuelle Musik: silence

: m - monkey balls

Ok, so now im drunk. You know who you are and i fucked this all to shit but hey thats life......hehehe no one knows, and i wont tell. You'll just have to guess. Ok This Is, jeg, Jose, And courvoisier. AND I WONT PPUKE! Guts 'o' steel! CHAD YOUS A HOE! Me thinks youd like hostile. And Land of the dead. I know you here this. Thats rite, i talk to him all the time. And he talks back, fucker. DONT TALK TO ME BOUT THIS, i am a viking ninja, and my will power is strong. FUCK YOU ALL!......well not all of you.

Aktuelle Stimmung: anxiousEating the past,hard to swalow
Aktuelle Musik: Silence, well, chad and i


Go Ahead! Just Try to beat this bastard, Im not over yet! You can lie, go ahead and talk, you fucking bastards. Acting like bitches only makes me mad, and mad makes me stronger. You fucks, you pieces of shit. I wont just sit here and let Everything iv worked for over the last 3 years just go all fucked UP! YOU CANT TEAR ME DOWN! Just think, one necrophagias act and everyone is all bent out of shape. Shit, youd do it if you were in my position. And Second who ever said they could be better than me, YOUR LIEING TO YOURSELF! I am a number that isnt equal to any of you.( heh, thanks slipknot) AND FUCK YOU IF YOU DONT LIKE SLIPKNOT! You trendy fucks dig everything else. Oh, Im so goth i just love Marilyn Manson, I think i'll cut myself and put on some girls pants then fuck my dog and listen to Coheed! Bitches? Me thinks so. Talk all you want, your life will end but i understand now how the world works. I can survive, You wont. The Panpered and laim will die off before i will. I AM FOREVER! If You dont belive me, JUST FUCKING TRY ME! Black Metal= Forged In The Fires Of Mans Contempt For An Invisible Creator. Fuled By Darkness and Misanthropy. FUCK YOU ALL!..........bitches.

Aktuelle Stimmung: anxiousI Want to BURN The World
Aktuelle Musik: nothing

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Aktuelle Stimmung: anxiousBOOZE
Aktuelle Musik: bang BANG ratatatat boom

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: m - new years resolution

This year. Im dreaming of a world of war in wich we cast down the ritious and we praise the whore suicide is the only way to bring on truth, and ill feed on the world as it eats its lies. This place this race i deny any ties that we cut As We Gather Flies.

Aktuelle Musik: deffening silence

: m

So yeah, new years. I gots to work but HAPPY NEW YEARS! Im Still here by myself. WHAT THE FUCK? Anywhat. Goth ball was slow to get rolling, but it was fun. Hope Everyone has a good time. by

Aktuelle Stimmung: anxioussuicide
Aktuelle Musik: Pontificaiting beligerance.

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